


Finding Dahvie

by woahvechkin



Category: Blood On The Dance Floor
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Major Original Character(s), Multi, this is a joke dont take it seriously lmaooo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 01:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7665370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woahvechkin/pseuds/woahvechkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>what happens when two teens go out on a search to find their true missing love, dahvie vanity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. About The Characters

Ryan: black hair with blue streaks and black glasses he wears a lot of band merch he has pale skin and wears eyeliner a lot hes gay by the way

Hila: she is Ryan's best friend and has brown hair that goes to her mid back and brown eyes she doesnt dress scene but she is trust me

Dahvie Vanity: hes a sugar daddy

jayy von monroe: hes just kinda there


	2. The Search Is On

Ryan's pov

 

Ryan woke up to teh sound of pots and pans being banged together he rolled out of bed and got dressed today he was wearing his blood on the dancefloor shirt with skinny jeans with a rip above the right knee he walked out to see his mom making breakfast.

"Hello honey" mom said.

"hello mother" ryan said

"i made eggs" mom saidd

"i can see that" he said

"ok" his mom said

his mom left and then ryan cried "my mom hates me" he said as a tear ran down his cheek but he remembered he was not wearing waterproof eyeliner so a black tear ran down his cheeks he went to the bathroom to fix his white foundation.

as he was fixing his makeup in the mirror his best friend hila called him.

"whats up motherfucker"

"hey hila" he said into his flip phone as he was staring at the dahvie vanity sticker he put on his mirror

"did you hear the news" hila said

"no wats going on" ryan said

"dahvie vanity was kidnapped today theyre saying whoever can find him first gets to have him as their sugar daddy" hila said

"what?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!" ryan excliamed

"yeah" hila said "theyre broadcasting it on the news even the cops are loking for him"

"omg!!!" ryan said "we need to find him right now!!"

"ok meet me at starbucks we need to make a game plan"

"ok" he said and hung up today was going to be interesting


	3. fyuc u ryabn

Hila's pov

Hila sat down at the light mahogany table and waited for Ryan to arrive while sipping on her pumpkin spice latte she was wearing a black veil brides shirt and normal blue jeans. hila was waiting for ryan and she was starting to get impatient. she called him like 47 times until he finally picked up.

""WHADDYA WANNT" ryan screamed into the phone

"WHEre ARE YOU IM AT STARBUCKS"

"I WAS IN THE BATHTUB LMAO"

"I THOUGHT YOU RAN OUT OF MILK???"

"NOOPE I HAD SOME LEFT :)"

" WHATEVER JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE"

ryan hung up and hila tried not to cry, first her parents hate her, now ryan hates her.  
hilasat and contemplated her friend choices. she hears the door open and whips her head around to check if it was ryan and it was! but he didnt even look at her he just disappeared. hila let an emo tear run down her cheek, not caring if it ruined the eyeliner she worked so hard to perfect that morning. ryan betryaed her.

she sat at the table with her head in her hands for a few minutes before she heard someone sit down. she looked up and saw ryan staring at her.

"what the hell ryan?!?!? i was waiting for you and you just disappeared!" she screamed, trying to hold back my tears

he had a confused expression on his face but then realized "oh sorry i just got something to drink." he replied.

"youre such an asshole" she yelled while standing up from the table in a dramatic fashion. she hesitated for a second but then reached down and picked up her pumpkin spice latte, proceeding to dump it on ryans head.

she didnt care that ryan perfect #scene#edgy makeup was ruined, she didn't care that he was going to have to clean the latte from his 600 piercings. she didn't care about anything, she was done with his BUULLSHIT.

she stormed out of starbucks leaving ryan with a shocked expression on his face. he ran to the bathroom crying and smearing latte and black eyeliner everywhere. he pushed past 4700 people waiting in line beacsue he was the priority here, duh.

everyone yelled at him and screamed "asshole!" at him but he didnt care, he was ryan, invincible ryan. he slammed the door shut behind him and he let out many emo tears. people were banging on the door but he didnt even notice he just wanted to be emo by himself.

ryan picks up his phone to try and get a hold of hila but she wasnt answering. ryan was so desperate for her to pick up becaue hila was better than he could ever wish to be :) after calling for the 700th time she finally picked up. when ryan heard her voice more emo tears cascaded down his extremely pale (almost vampiric)cheeks.

"STOP CALLIMG ME" hila screamed into the phone

no hila please-" ryan begged

"no listen ryan, you fricked up and its reall not ok "

"please hila ill do anything"

"anything?" hila asked, sounding curious

"anything." ryan confirmed. he could feel hila smiling from the other line.

she didnt speak for a second and ryan anticipated her answer. she took a deep breath and said

" come over to my house in five minutes or the deals off" and with that she hung up.

ryan called his uber waiting to be picked up. ryan had managed to clean up his face so looked a bit less emo. the driver arrives and during the entire drive ryan couldn't stop thinking about what thing hila possibly wants him to do. he finally arrives at hilas house and ryan is nervous he wipes his hands on his pants and knocks on the door.

hila opens the door and refuses to let ryan in. she then describes her plan

"to make up what you did to me you will work your ass off helping me find dahvie and when we do i get 70% of dahvies sugar daddy time and i get to share your 30% deal?"

ryan was desperate so he quixkly agreed, happy to have his friend back.

hila invites him in so they can set a plan for Finding Dahvie.


	4. Ronald McDahvie

Hila and Ryan set off to the nearest McDonald's to come up with a plan. They went in and everyoom0i0pfp9iaei began to cry becsuse ryan just radiated emo and scene. anywai they wnet to the counter to order their food snd ryan passed out bc he saw DAHVIE VANITY AT THE COUNTER!!!!!!!!!

 

Hila stepped on ryans pale, unconscious emo body and approached mr. vanity. "hello," she said slowly, "Dahvie Vanity."

Dahvie looked confused. this was not his le boyf???

"LE BOYF?" dahvie yelled, "WHERE IS LE BOYF?"

Hila crossed her arms across her chest and made some INTENSE EYE CONTACT with him.

"Well, hopefully, after this you will be MY le boyf."

Dahvie's confused expression turned into one of understanding.

"ohhhh you're looking for my twin brother, Dahvie. I'm Ronald McDahvie,"

Hila was most likely the MOST confused person on planet Earth right there.

"What the fuck is a Ronald McDahvie," she asked.

"Me!" he exclaimed, "I'm named that because I work at mcdonalds and for my red and yellow hair that represents this restaurant."

"So...did your parents just like. Know you would work at mcdonalds."

"my parents are fortune tellers they could see my path as soon as i came out with my large head of red and yellow hair."

"Ngl thats kinda unfortunate," she said with a concerned sneer.

"Fucc you," he said, throwuing a big mac at her, "MCDONALDS IS MY LIFE!!"

Hila narrowloy dodged the burger, doing a backbend like they do in those movies where someone shoots at them and they dodge them all cool like.

Ronald mcdahvie is SO impressed that he gives her 70 mcflurries for free. Hila throws a peace sign at him before exiting the building, forgetting about Ryan unconscious on the floor.


	5. why the fuck did hila leave ryan what the fuck

Ryan woke approximately three days later on the cold linoleum floor of McDonald's with a start. He looked around the store in confusion with drool clinging to his face. There were hardly any people in the restaurant, and the few who were paid him no mind as if they were used to his presence.

"what tHe fUUUUUUUUUCK," Ryan shouted.

"Sir, may I help you?" asked the man at the counter.

Ryan froze. It was Dahvie Vanity! He found him!

"No i'm not God damn Dahvie Vanity im Ronald McDahvie his twin brother for fucks sake."

"Oh," Ryan sighed in disappointment, "Where did Hila go?"

Ronald McDahvie stopped wiping the counter and stared at him with a look that clearly said 'where the fuck do you think you've been'

"My guy she left three days ago."

"WHAT," Ryan shouted, bolting upright from his position on the floor where there laid a layer of dirt where the staff was unable to clean due to his unconscious body. "WHY HAVE I BEEN LAYING HERE FOR THREE DAYS WHY THE FUCK DID SHE NOT COME BACK FOR ME WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK."

Ronald McDahvie gave him an unimpressed look as he leaned against the counter, his red and yellow hair framing his round face in an infuriating way.

"imo if you're this much like a little pussy ass bitch then you deserved it tbh!!!"

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot."

Ronald was still unimpressed as he stared at the tiny seething man in front of him. "Are you going to order or not?"

"Oh yeah lmao i'll have a big mac thanks dude."

"No problem lmao."

And with that, Ryan took his big mac and made his happy (though mildly seething, raged) way to hila's house to give her a Firm Tongue Lashing.

**Author's Note:**

> this is meant to be written like a bad fic from 2007


End file.
